Matatu Joy

I believe I have mentioned matatus a few time now, without having really explained what a matatu is. If you have been to any developing country, you have no doubt experienced the local form of barely regulated, terribly convenient but slightly life threatening public transport. Thus are the matatus of Kenya.

The average matatu is a passenger van which loosely follows the public bus routes but runs much more frequently; in fact, usually the problem is not waiting for a matatu, but actually being manhandled simultaneously into three matatus that are competing for you business. Matatus technically hold 14 passengers but realistically they usually carry up to 20 (a few of the other volunteers swear they were in a matatu the other day with 24 passengers, a record I'm sure!) Each matatu has a driver renowned for their complete disregard of road rules, as well as a "wrangler" who sits in the back with the passengers and collects the fare/ signals the driver for a stop. The signal is usually something non-verbal like a whistle or tapping on the window with a coin - I have no idea how the driver hears this as the matatu is usually vibrating with the bass of some classic early 90's American hip-hop (Snoop Dog is a particular favorite).

The fares on matatus are pretty cheap, however they tend to be mysteriously variable. A normally 20 shilling fare (about $0.30 CAD) becomes 30 shillings if it's raining or 40 shillings if it's really busy. The fare of course doubles for muzungus, unless you make it obvious that you know what you're doing and how much to pay. Most of the matatu wranglers out of Ngong now recognize me and don't even try to ask for 40 shillings for my 20 shilling ride to Karen.

The decor of matatus could really be given a blog entry all on it's own. Externally matatus really only need to have a yellow band which designates them as a matatu, and usually lists the route numbers and destinations. There are sometimes fancy lights or other decorations and many have a slogan of some sorts on the windscreen or back window - often something along the lines of "Trust in God". There is a matatu driving around that says TORONTO across the windscreen and a VANCOUVER one also (I'm still looking for the LAC LA BICHE matatu!)

On the inside the matatus are usually elaborately decorated. The seats are usually covered in some pretty rocking shag carpet type upholstery, often complete with tassels. The shag carpeting extends to the roof while the windows and walls are often covered in random slogans cut out of fluorescent paper. Popular slogans include religious or hip-hop based words often randomly massed together. Some of my particular favorites include "Bust it for the Saviour" and "Too black for you". Some matatus are even equipped with blue lights to make the slogans really pop out and video screens for your riding pleasure. The video screens play the videos to accompany the pulsing Snoop-Dog or Gwen Steffani that leaves my ears ringing for hours after disembarking. Apparently the matatu owners believe pimping their ride will bring more business; I can't help but think that the money would be better spent on a bit of routine maintenance, but what do I know?

The safety of riding in matatus is questionable at best. Matatus frequently fly down the road at speeds much greater than there allowed 80 kph. They weave through crazy traffic and pass on the uphill in some curious middle lane that doesn't seem to actually exist to my western eyes. It's not uncommon to see two or even three matatus on the side of teh road with crumpled bumpers and dented sides and drivers arguing furiously in Swahili (apperently Swahili has no actul swears, but provided generously for personal insults). I myself have had to real accidents in matatus, just a few close calls (breaks squealing, that sort of thing), oh and once the matatu did scrape the side of an oncoming vehicle as the two flew down the road, but no body bothered to stop. A few of the other volunteers were in a matatu accident the first day there were in Kenya... but everyone was fine.

To finish off, here's one of the most popular matatu jokes I have heard:
The pope (insert religious leader based on audience) arrives in Nairobi and sees a red carpet being rolled out. He assumes it is for him then is surprised to see another limo pull up and a matatu driver get our and begin walking down the red carpet to great fan fare and applause. The pope, upset and slightly jealous asks a local man why they are cheering for a lowly matatu driver. "Well" says the man "the matatu driver has brought more souls close to God than even you!"